I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
by EveryMe.EveryYou
Summary: Zuko searches to find his mother. Oneshot


Zuko walked down the long, stone corridor with only one purpose in mind. _I don't fear him_, he thought adamantly, _he cannot hurt me anymore._ He swung the large, iron door open and stared down at the broken man in front of him.

Ozai lifted his head to look at who his visitor may be, but quickly averted his eyes. 'I should count myself lucky; the new Fire Lord has graced me with his presence in my lowly prison cell.'

Zuko looked at his father with disgust. 'You should count yourself lucky that the Avatar spared your life.' The older man made a noise but did not speak. 'Banishing me was the best thing you could have done for my life,' Zuko continued as if there were no interruption. 'It put me on the right path. Perhaps your time in here could do the same for you.'

Ozai was growing bored with the traitor's presence. 'Why are you really here?'

'Because you're going to tell me something,' he replied, lowering his head until he was face to face with his father. 'Where is my mother?'

...

'What are going to do, Zuko?' Mai asked in a bored voice.

'I don't know,' he half-shouted at her, but his voice softened somewhat when he looked at her. 'I don't know if he was telling the truth.'

'Well there's only one way to find out,' she told him quietly, placing a thin hand on his shoulder. 'You'll never forgive yourself if you don't find out.'

He sighed and turned to face her. 'I think I want to go alone.' She hesitated for a moment but nodded anyway.

Zuko walked outside without another word and was greeted by Aang. 'Hey Zuko, you wanted me for something?'

'Ah, yeah, I kind of wanted to ask you a favour. Could I borrow Appa?'

Aang smiled as only he could. 'Sure. Where are you going?'

Zuko paused for a moment. Should he tell his friend? 'I just have some unfinished business.'

Aang nodded without another word. Zuko sighed as he walked off, he was proud to be the Fire Lord but sometimes he missed being able to go off and do things when he wanted to do them. He smiled slightly to himself. All he had wanted when he was banished was to be where he was now, but now he was here he wished for banishment.

Appa greeted Zuko with a grunt and then attempted to lick him, but the Fire Lord was quicker than he looked. He jumped onto the bison's back. 'Yip-yip,' he murmured and Appa launched into the air.

...

Hours later they arrived at the spot Zuko had been both dreaming about and dreading for weeks. He breathed deeply and slid onto the ground. The earth was hard packed and dry under his feet as he walked towards a small hut in a village not far from Ba Sing Se. He knocked on the door and immediately regretted not changing from his imperial robes that marked him as the Fire Lord.

The door swung open to show a little girl of maybe eight years old. He smiled at her kindly but she shyly hid behind the door. 'Hello,' he said to her, moving so that they were the same height. 'I'm Zuko, what's your name?'

'Rama.'

'That's a nice name, is your Mummy or Daddy home?'

She nodded slowly and a woman walked up behind her. 'Who's at the door? Oh.' She stared at Zuko and then shifted her eyes to his clothes. 'I'm Sumi. Please, come in.' She moved back and allowed him to pass her.

The house was very small but reminders of family and home were littered everywhere. Sumi motioned for Zuko to sit down at a small table and he did. 'I'm sorry for the mess, we weren't expecting visitors. I'm sure you're used to much nicer places than this.' She hurried around the room trying to clear away dishes.

'Don't worry about it,' Zuko told her. 'I only came to-'

'I know why you're here. Ursa told us that she was from the Fire Nation. She was your caretaker if I'm not mistaken?' she asked tentatively.

Zuko looked confused for a moment. 'She wasn't our caretaker, she's my mother.'

Sumi looked shocked. 'Ursa was the Fire Lady?'

'No, no. She was a princess and then she was banished before my father became Fire Lord. That's not why I'm here. Where is she? Is she still alive?'

Sumi looked down at her hands which were folded on the table in front of her. 'She lived here with my family and me for three years but on the day of Sozen's Comet she left. She said that Ba Sing Se needed her. My husband wanted to help her get there, but they were ambushed by Fire Nation soldiers just outside of the village. They were both killed. I'm so sorry.'

The silence in the room was deafening. Zuko suddenly found himself on his feet. 'Where was she buried?'

Sumi stood silently and led Zuko out into the yard. Side by side sat two graves; one for his mother and one for Rama's father. Sumi made her way back inside as Zuko stared at the grave that was obviously his mother's.

He sat down beside it and the tears came thick and fast. Deep down he'd always hoped that his mother would have survived and to find out that she had, until only a few weeks earlier was agony. He cried for the moments his mother had missed with him, and the years he had prayed that she would come home to him again.

Zuko lifted his head suddenly, his tears drying instantly. He was angry. 'Why did you leave me there?' he screamed at the grave. 'You could have taken me with you!'

Zuko fell to the ground, hot tears pouring down his tarnished face. 'You said you'd never leave me,' he murmured to himself.

...

Zuko returned to his palace in the Fire Nation in the dead of night and climbed into bed quietly. Mai rolled over as he lay down facing the opposite wall.

'Zuko,' she ventured quietly. When he gave no reply she continued. 'Zuko what happened?'

'He lied, she wasn't there.'

As Mai hugged him quietly, Zuko agreed that he would never tell what had happened that day. His last few moments with his mother were only for him to know.


End file.
